A Fool By Another Name

From the East

2009-12-06T15:54:25Z

My first post while in Japan, woohoo! Here's my latest poem.

Her Left Hand

It began like many a synched walk
with a warm tether,
A mutual cuff made of laced fingers.
But the tale turned
as she turned, twisting away
away and alas and agone.
What of our lifetime, our trust, our slipping touch?
Such brutal clarity as digits faded to frost
they each left sockets
like a lifted tree leaves wounded earth,
letting the rot seep in.
I was left with a toothless maw
a hollow half-thing
gasping in sudden loss
grasping for redemption
weakened in despair.
Still, moments drew sharper moments
and her retreat went on
unreasoned and with bitter detail.
As if I shone too bright for her delicate lashes to shade,
as if important things were suddenly happening on her right,
as if she suddenly forgot why she faced me,
or what was clutching at her precious left hand.
The damage was dealt.
The touch was taken back.
Untouched and useless.

Once more...

2009-05-04T08:13:59Z

Our Hero

Our hero needs a dramatic flaw.
Too tall and with sunken features
but not so and not no.
I have it!
He will have the emotions of 10 men
so even the slightest sorrow
will overflow his heart and flood his stomach
with passion set to sloshing past every slow evening.
What a child he will seem
as he walks on tear-soaked pavement
for every reason.
My man will reach out in desperation,
in need and solid loss he will claw
and grasp upon every polished surface.
All in searching for a resonance and a release,
a deep breath or a pregnant catch beforehand.
His flaw is perfection,
visible and completely obtainable,
lodged in his jagged chest like a gem in its socket.

Once more...

2009-01-28T07:54:44Z

I think this might be the most honest thing I've ever written.

Quiet Men

He who drifts,
head bowed and hand open
to collect alms,
alms for the chosen.
He is one of few.
Within there resides a dusk
painted a different blue, with compassion
a compassion that is warm
like a pillow in the morning.
He is a quiet man,
one of the last, they say,
carefully treading through his scenes,
choosing his heartaches.
One of few quiet men,
men who seem pale
when lined up alongside most.
But in true times,
in withering times
they shine like daytime rain,
honest and smooth.
Alone, a quiet man may falter
and lose his voice.
Fall from quiet to invisible.
He softens and curls up
dividing and dying,
with a silent elegy inside.
But among his chosen,
he is like a beacon,
a flare let slip at night
overcast with regret.
With his chosen
a quiet man sits low
and sings his only piece,
made strong by the breeze,
he sings his one heartache
until his light crescendos
and quietly burns for days.

Forever Siege

2009-01-24T09:07:17Z

This room smells of empty self
And polished glass.
Despite the blank tale told by my window
The silence never arrives
Instead I am treated to a pecking,
A grinding gnaw that ticks inwardly.
This delight due to a fevered manner
And a tireless neuron army
With no common enemy they fold upon each other
Forming a Rorschach without sleep
An opponent worthy of forty winks
And gracious affection is absent.
My troops to puzzle her nature instead,
Scheming tactics of invasion
A colonization of foreign bodies
Of land and valleys alive with cheerful response
A forever siege is sought for
To welcome a champion challenger
Who can swing peace
And slice through calm dream
That will bleed steady breath
And satiated sighs.

And Again As Deep

2009-01-18T16:02:36Z

Now the chill is gone and I have forgotten warmth,
in their wake I crave carved hands,
hands to frame my every figure and corruption,
hands to catch the crisis within as it slips, turns
and spills across my vain attempts.
Faces fade from sketches
like night flakes, happily misting my fallen way.
Trick me deep
so the trickles in my beard
burn crisper and crown my neck.
Away, away I sleep
until the fallen path breaks too tightly
and catches along my stolen sheets.
Trick me deeper
and again as deep
until my knuckles are gone
replaced by knowledge
and dusty kisses.
Until my twitches crush me
beneath honest failure
and crystal intentions.

Are we there yet?

2008-11-13T09:39:57Z

My Love Is Metaphor

My love is metaphor
wrapped in well-wishes
and calcium deposits instead of bows.
Secreted away in the silver light,
not all is lost in my allegorical cave.
For the brief light shocks
and shadow plays found me wounded,
but luckily not mortal,
at least for another year
of post-tied to boredom
and copper smells.
Maybe there's necessity in imagination
to fold away madness
into linty pockets of cranial crevices,
and second ticks
twitch slowly back and forth.
Someday my simile will arrive
like glory and wreckage
among the untouched and unloved.
Then flight will slumber
beneath my arms
and tilt me moonwise
to the land tied to my chest
where I will slip towards heaven
through slow frozen breath and rain.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, no matter how good our lives should be, we feel lost. All efforts seem aimless, directionless and even pointless. Overall, we feel lessened, and all I really need is a shift in the lighting to make me look at things in a different way. I'm not sure how or when that will happen, but until then, expect more poetry late at night.

No sleep tonight

2008-11-03T12:39:38Z

Freak Talk

The cobblestones today crumble cold
Like fingers in the small of my back.
And my crush cranks the faucet
So madness slowly trickles
Through my fists and palms.
Where the rivulets form in the dirt
I sow fresh fire and lies
And my passion grows
Outwards like eyesight
Grasping for a lock of hair
A twitch, tattoo or a lipstick smudge
To choke onto and breathe.
When I reap my absent burning
And harvest its broken flowers
I will fatten and keel,
Happily cracking the earth
To sleep amidst shadow blankets
And find wrappings in stone
To rest my joints and sink into.

It's Been A While

2008-03-07T00:46:40Z

So I had to write today because my feelings needed an outlet. Here's what came out:

The Hollow Man

Ladies and gentlemen, please gather ‘round
I’ll tell you a story that I’ve recently crowned
The funniest tale that I’ve ever heard
It’s perfectly crazy, silly, absurd.

Ah yes, ah yes, just let me think
Can’t get it wrong eh? Wink wink,
Easy now, easy now, don’t have a piss
How did it go? Oh right, it starts like this:

Down in a town, not far from here,
There’s a big old school where they don’t drink beer,
It’s just full of work and scholars and quiet,
And if you ask me, it sounds like a riot!

So two scholars were walking one day,
Until they saw something ‘a blocking their way,
It wasn’t a bush or a tree or a rock,
But ‘twas a grown man refusing to talk.

They tried to speak with the silent fellow,
But he remained quiet, chill and mellow,
He just stood there, all frozen in place,
Like a statue, you see, with a real carven face.

Curious and nosy, they gave him a poke,
Thinking perhaps he would let out a croak,
Instead the figure merely rocked back and forth,
Until he spun, and turned to face north.

Confused the scholars stared in unease,
Then from the East, there issued a breeze,
As it passed the still man, a moan could be heard
It was a crisp, deep sound, not at all blurred.

Understanding at once, they cried out, “He’s hollow,”
But you’ll never expect what things were to follow.
They thought leaving the man would be such a waste,
So they lifted and carried him home in due haste.

The man’s acoustics were second to none,
And so the scholars had a little fun,
They cut at his belly and attached here some strings,
Tuning, and tinkering and other such things.

Now the hollow man was one of a kind,
With the prettiest f-holes you ever could find,
The scholars they examined and thought with a frown,
“He’ll be played like a cello,” they said. “Sitting down.

And so the stranger joined the quartet,
As the best sounding cello made as of yet,
Although, apparently it does look rather weird,
To see a lady playing a cello, with a big beard.

Took A While

2007-07-05T08:35:44Z

Pensight

As I drift in a bitter glow
Wrapped in a tender shawl of misspoken fortunes
The turning grinds and shudders,
Softening the horizon.
Now my teeth are free to bleed chalk
And my hands to weep a prophecy.
It speaks of a stormy Fool
Driven to subtle insanity
By the waves trapped inside the tiny
Bells that crown his wrists.
This Fiddler will bow for lowered hallways
And tinker with angled thrones
Until they are just so.
All this until a sour hero
Dressed in beastly shade
Comes cantering across cobbles and riverbeds,
Questing for misplaced pen strokes.
When this couple touches a glance
Across a windy fog
The Laugher will shout, “Cursed victory,”
So a hymn can be painted onto his clever palms.
Then fingers will knot themselves into
Columns and the Shaper will
Plant his weary brow on a knoll
And know very little ever on.

It Never Ends

2006-12-14T02:35:01Z

The Titan

Hrmm, ho hum now!
What's this? What day is it?
Everything is colorless and bold
and tiny legs tangle mine own.
Crushing winds talk strange now,
perhaps they have learned Southern speech
and mistake me for brother.
Hum hum now fellows,
my cousin giants,
cease your thumping.
Hum hush, I know, and hark.
You have grown silly while I slept.
Here me breathe now
and be contented rage.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop

2006-10-24T06:18:03Z

Life-Fear

Oh, seal the shades
draw the black free again and
leave me to cursed sleep.
This life-fear is too strong
for tilted beams bouncing
beneath dank walls.
Stronger than wine thirst
upon sex licks
tied to a sweet tooth
tangled in a circle of night laughter.
Leave me in my curled pity
glorious with nothing,
amid polaroid lies
and salty crushes.
Crushes that birth scarecrows,
wide-eyed and tall
to stand amongst my bitter crop
of fallen foolery.
Shut the broken gate,
lock it with a pitiful wink,
and chain it with ocean waves
wandered too far from shore.
Skip away and away,
holding your smiles and cough candy.

Check the Post Time

2006-09-25T07:22:00Z

This is all I got, I need to go to sleep now.

With The Night

twinkle twinkle goes the harp string
looped cross-eyed through windows
and deaf dawns.
The dances are done
but the familiar sways still
crash from wall to corners
I just remember flute pipes
and cascades that were welcomed
like sunsets
on the months without leaves or waves.
Those were the months
when sleeves swept low
over blessed braids
wrapped loose 'round wrists.
Those months fled like
songs from midday
only when I'm with the night
do the turns and falls reach again.

Gratuitous Post

2006-05-21T18:29:00Z

Hey everyone,
I should be studying for my finals tomorrow and Tuesday but instead I wanted to post this and share it with the rest of you. It's so fuckin funny. If you watch any anime you have to watch this clip and if you don't you should check it out anyway so you can make fun of people who watch anime. I can't talk about this without weeping. Cue the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cehANOyogI&search=cosplay%20funny

Poetry Bonanza

2006-05-11T05:29:49Z

Hey Everyone,
So apparently I've temporarily given up on posting the changes in my life. At the pace things are going here I feel like I could start a post and by the end of it feel like I've changed again. I'm sure things will slow down enough for me to post more over the summer when I'm bored out of my skull. Anyway, I had a poetry class this semester (by far my favorite class here so far) and I've written a lot of interesting stuff, I thought I'd post them here in case you guys are interested. Just to warn you there's a lot of them, feel free to read as many or as few as you want. As always your comments are welcome and I'd love to hear your thoughts, maybe you can pick out a favorite.

A Heart Fell Into My Lap Today

A heart fell into my lap today.
One with not enough sky
Yet sticky with condensed breeze.
I held it awkwardly for three moments
Then I wrote it a harmony
And locked it in the quarter rests,
There it rests still
Trying to know its old foot-tap
Between pianissimo and the door,
Fermata and the shanty,
Andante and the gate that never shuts right,
decrescendo and the lighthouse.
The one with the green tie and a broken fog horn
Echoing like a shoe print echoes
Or a not-too-clever hoodwink.
Now the beacon lives in summer tides
That swell like slurs
And arch over aqueducts
Heavy with accidentals.

Curled Lips

I can’t go back
Too many closets
Not enough corners
I can’t go back
That thin road is too full of loss
That flows lava like leaves
Loss that leads you astray
Like little swamp fairies at night.
She’s waiting there I know
With all the other girls
Each with my number
Ticked off on their
Sadly
Rounded
Fingernails
They own the winter
And all my itchy blankets
And the ink I stain my fingers with
They own five past midnight
And all the empty bottles it brings
All that’s left for me
Is the hurt in my neck
And the half shoelace I left behind.

Failed Test

The morning without sleep
Cries for lovers
Like seagulls call for children
The long blink
Means far too plenty
Without face-touches and
Soft ears.
Your bridge fails when
Long vowels can do better,
The mascara and twisted coffee
Hide the smile
I keep away in my pockets
Like lost bookmarks
Or precious seashells.
Heavy second handed
Just leaves us tired
And hungry for penstrokes
So when the harmony sours
Just blame me
And I’ll shrug for you
Blame me,
I’ll keep your toys safe

Recall You

Recall you the first raindrop
That fell across your face
And paused for dramatic effect
Before strolling down your cheek
And hanging at your chin
Gathering courage before its dark fall?
That was when the decent slept
And granite grew up poorly
And the doorways fell crooked.
That season abandoned me
Like a dirty egg
Or a stained patch of skin.
That season crossed me
Emblazoned below sewers
That follow tidbits too closely.
That season was too bright
It cut through dyed hair
And cheap class rings,
So bright that pillows became see-through
And fell useless into the river,
Too bright to sleep through.

Late Days

When we found the crushed flutter
That passed our afternoon summer
And pined for elm trees
That still had fans to crouch behind
Like poor children
And slurred chapels
We still gave out names
And ruined snowflakes
Strangely similar that called for loss
Like a fruit for long teeth.
For now let’s smudge our murky lies
All across the bathroom wall
‘til they dribble onto the absurd tiles
and lie forgotten like my first crush.
Those late days twinge
As faded stickers do
As cold lips do
As wet slippers do
As burning bridesmaid’s dresses do
Just as my final flat footprint never will.

Midnight in Heaven

My eyes whimper
While your mouth whispers
I wish you’d press
Those dark lips to my forehead
And tell me I’m burning away.
“Hide me” is scrawled
Along the inside of my chest
The letters so deep
You could drink wine from them,
Thick with my stare.
Just remember not to choke
All the way down
And I promise you’ll
Be far from fine.
Stillness isn’t enough
Not here,
So far from home
This is the place
Where wedding dresses tear
And veins harden.
Don’t touch me.
I can’t bear my reflection
Leering at me
From your polished expression.
But if you hold me
Make it tight,
So my favorite poison just
Might trickle away
In burning rivulets
That darken the dawn.
When the clouds themselves
Distort and invert
Then I have nothing
Save the needle pointing away.

Rough Day

One o’clock
And all is not well
In fact the well
Is in deep trouble
So have fun
And watch them scatter
While alarms sound
Waking the peaceful
From their private darkness
So they can fall
Just like the rest of us.
Torches bouncing
And pitchforks glinting
The night shudders
Around the steady flames
Too bad none of the sound
Ever gets through.
Just wait for the day
To tap at your window
Finding your blanket
Up to your eyes.
It’ll hurt less
Promises, promises
From old friends
With sharp knives
Sleep tight now
In the glow
Of the fading streetlight.

Thanks for reading, that's all for now.

A Sense of Purpose

2006-01-30T19:15:14Z

What validates us? What gives our lives meaning? Whatever it is we have to have it, otherwise our time here is just an accumulation of seconds and minutes without any deeper purpose behind it, it’s meaningless. Some people find it in their goals (which differ from person to person), but they constantly have to be in pursuit of something, and unless they’re devoting their energy to their goal they feel lost. Maybe the goal is success, money or a family. Sometimes it can be something smaller, like earning enough money to go on a trip, or getting a great gift for a friend, but whatever it is it’s necessary. This is only partially true for me, although I can’t speak for everyone I’ve learned that setting goals isn’t enough to give my life meaning. For some reason I set myself goals so habitually that they no longer manage to give me a sense of purpose. Instead I only feel as if I’m going through the motions, whatever they may be. Achieving my goals can give me a sense of satisfaction, but that doesn’t happen nearly often enough to give my life a constant sense of meaning. I’ve discovered what it is that gives me that personal gratification. No matter how deeply my mind may be occupied, if my heart is empty then I fail to see the point in so much. I’ve found out that I need a loving relationship with which I can regularly interact in order to have that validation. I have to feel needed and important to someone, I want to make and keep promises and be a part of that person’s life to watch them evolve and change. I want to care about someone and have them care about all the little things I do. My heart must be full in order for me to truly feel like I’m not wasting my time. Now, when I say loving relationship, I don’t necessarily mean a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (although, if that were the case it would certainly get the job done), it could include a strong friendship or any type of deep connection. This is what I pursue with every relationship I begin, this is the goal that I set myself, to become close enough to this person so that we care about each other’s lives and learn to love one another. More often than not it doesn’t work out according to plan, and due to frustrating reasons I tend to move away and end up having to maintain the relationship over a long distance, which complicates things terribly (but if the connection has been strongly established then it’s absolutely worth it to keep in touch). Anyway, the point is that this love and affection is the only thing that gives me a strong enough sense of self satisfaction to give my life a sense of immediate purpose. That may seem unhealthy, for me to need someone else in my life in order to feel important, but it’s true nonetheless. I still feel some purpose by accomplishing my personal goals, but to me the worst feeling is to sit alone and understand that no one knows what I’m doing nor do they care enough at that moment to find out. A depressing though I know, but that’s when I motivate myself to get out there and make myself important to others. I know friendships don’t just appear out of thin air, they need time and effort in order to become the beautiful connections that they all have the potential of reaching. But even those have to start somewhere. Still, I haven’t found that yet here and so, despite my accomplishments, I have a sense of emptiness. This is what has been bothering me for the last couple of months, and now that I have thought about it I can finally express it. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

A Fool’s Toast

Drink deep my friend
Till the dregs rub against your nose
If the collar is too tight
Tear at it with your teeth
And never tell me
That the water is too cold
For swimming
I know it hurts
Believe me
But it hurts so good
So nice and right
Every stab
Is like an eye-watering
Slice of heart
Ache and burn
If I catch you pause
Hesitate or think twice
I promise
You will be left far
Far behind
While I ride
The waves of
Teardrops and sunlight
The rushing wind
Whispering in my ear
Reminds me to breath
Heavily and hollow
And my heart beat
Is so hip
That I have to dance

There Can Be No Excuse

2006-01-22T04:56:39Z

Hello Readers,
Remember me? It's been a while I know, but I promise I'm still here. Not only that but I continue to read my Friend's page religiously, so despite the fact that I haven't posted in about three months I'm still very much up to date with all the things you guys have been writing about. Well, a lot has happened in the months that I stopped posting, but I don't really feel like talking about most of it here, if you really wanna know the details then just gimme a call. I'm sure I'd be happy to hear from any one of you and tell you how things have been going. But just to share some stuff so that you don't get mad at me, I did finish my exams this week. For those of you who don't know Harvard doesn't schedule first semester exams until after the winter break. So on January 3rd I arrived back on campus and started studying. I took my last exam yesterday. There were all pretty intense but I guess it's to be expected. What else? I've got about a week of a break, which should be fun. I'm going to visit Shanti in New York and then going to Florida for a week. I can't wait to see Shanti, it's been so long since we've been together. I miss having someone around who loves me unconditionally and understands my sense of humor. I feel kind of forgotten here at times, but I guess that's to be expected in any new place, I should be used to it by now. But I have spoken with some friends from high school and stuff. I tried calling the girls on Caitie's birthday but it seemed no one wanted to speak to me (jk). I get the occasional chat with folks, but it's not the same as having someone around to just have fun with. Sometimes keeping in touch can feel like a chore and I hate that, when you start to wonder why things feel more awkward than before. I should probably shut up about it though. Bottom line, I miss all of you that aren't here with me, yes ALL of you. I promise. I'm sorry I haven't posted in so long but I'm still here, and if you feel so inspired please give me a call. I promise I'll be so grateful that you won't even have to worry about what to talk about, I'll just thank you until you think up a topic. Recently my biggest vice has turned to anime, I now have an external hard drive with way too much memory and I'm actually doing a pretty good job of filling it up with episodes, soon I will begin another AMV project. I'll leave you with a new poem, as I so often tend to do. The other reason I haven't written in so long is because I haven't written any new poetry (that I wanted to post here anyway). But now that has been remedied. Have a great weekend everyone.

White Breath

Don’t touch me
Your hands stink of him
Like hair gel and arrogance,
Like sneers and neglect,
Like a broken toy.
I’ll hug myself instead,
And whisper in my ear
That one day it’ll
All be alright.
And while the mistakes
Blanket me in frost
I’ll think of your words
And crack my knuckles
So they swell and break
Leaving me shattered messages
To hang around my neck
Like all the empty promises
Forgotten and pushed aside.
But thanks to my shivering
Luscious demons appear
Tangled in my hair
By now I’ve found all their names
So some mornings
They let me sleep.

I'm Brilliant, Now Leave Me Alone

2005-11-09T01:09:44Z

Hi guys. With school work and all the other stuff going on right now I haven't had much time to write updates and such about what's going on with my life. I'm sorry to disappoint. But I've written another poem, this was the one on a friend's comp, and hopefully the posting of this will be enough to satiate your appetites. I'm still alive and I'll try and be more visible in the future (if that's what you guys really want). For now, please enjoy and let me know what you think.

Corrupted Serenade

Dear darling,
Since your steps leave dents
All along my spine
And your voice
Always catches my tongue
I think it’s time
Past due for you to know me.
Let’s plot every tiptoe
And make it up anyway
I can’t wait to peel back
Every one of your layers.
With such perfect shoulders
And brilliant rings
Around twisted pits
You must have secrets.
I bet they read like treasure maps
And taste like a bitter sunrise.
Rest your lips
Along the curve of my neck
I promise
My voice won’t break
But the snowflakes
Are hard to account for,
Just keep playing with my hair
And we’ll pretend
Through the tingles
That we don’t exist.
Wipe the blood
From my mouth
And I’ll tilt your head back
So the light blinds you,
And you recite
Every tattered moan
That you’d rather not mention.
The sweetened growls
Look like arctic lights
From the corner of my eye.
Keep the rhythm
Thorns and all,
We have to make sure
My breath stays dark.

Long time no update

2005-11-02T05:13:18Z

Sorry for the delay guys. I could come up with a slew of excuses but screw that. I've been busy and that's all you need to know. I'm gonna get working on another general update, letting you guys know all the lovely things that I've been up to, but for now let me just say that I miss all of my friends, that the invitation to send me pictures of yourselves and us together is always open, and I would love any that can be sent. And for now I will satiate your appetite for me with a poem. I've written another one since but it's on another computer so I'll update it later. Here ya go.

Nothing Left

Nobody knows where I went
The hood does wonders
For my disappearing act.
So darling, sweety, honeybunch,
Look along the walls
And in the shadows
If you wanna find me.
The music drills my eardrum
And dimples my sight.
The spinning lights are
Cheap and filthy
I left the humming beats
Far behind.
So sweetcakes, sugarpie, babybaby,
Check outside
In the rain
If you wanna find me.
I’m curious to discover
Who notices
My lack of presence.
It should feel
Like the loss of a tune
Stuck in your chest,
The air where I stood
Still tingles.
So teddybear, lover, wonderwoman,
Check the corner
Of the room next door
If you wanna find me.
And you’ll see
My knowing glance
I’ve felt your eyes in the dark
And I’ve memorized all your moves.
There’s nothing left
To see here.

Thanks for reading, good night and much love.

Please Read This

2005-10-15T21:46:01Z

Calling all friends! Calling all friends! I would appreciate/love/like/crave it if you could all send me digital pictures of yourselves or us. You see I have this screensaver called webshots (really cool, I recommend it) and it scrolls these awesome pictures. But I can put my own pictures on it if I want. The only problem is I don't really have any pics of you guys. It would mean so much to me if you all sent me as many pics as you could. Send them to kzshuman@fas.harvard.edu please. I can put them on my screensaver and it would make me so happy to see all your faces. The pictures don't have to have me in them. That's not the point, but if they are pics of times we were hanging out or doing something memorable that would be even better. I need the memories people. Please don't read this and assume everyone will send me pics so you don't really have to, it would mean so much to me if you guys did this. This is the advantage of digital photography, and you should use it to your advantage. The more you can send the better. Even if they're random and weird. Thank you in advance to whoever sends me anything.

Today's the day

2005-10-01T15:25:53Z

This one's a little more literal.

Friendship

On the brightest of days
planets align
warm dreams linger
and we are blessed
beloved and bonded
with a miracle.
Thick and still
like a redwood
remembered rather
than forged in
late nights
with long ears
and tired tongues.
Families found
and lately lost.
A nomad's only solaces
are embraces
that feel like home,
familiar scents
and heartfelt glances.
Through wax and wane
across generations
they fossilize
like peaceful nights
and sugared memories.

I'm thinking I should make a collage in my room of all the poems I've ever written, but then again, I might be getting carried away with all my home-made collages. Plus, people are probably sick of my poetry by now. I could do it though, I still have way too much time on my hands here. To all my friends who are reading this, I miss you and wish you were here.

Keys In Your Car

2005-09-25T21:47:21Z

Here we go. Another week has passed and so I've written another update for my family. Here it is for all of you to read. Enjoy. Plus there's a little something extra at the bottom. Catch ya on the flipside.

Hello all,
A lot has happened this last week. I’m starting to settle in and get a little more comfortable with my surroundings. This week we had what is called “Shop Week”. All the students shopped for their classes. It’s a process that basically includes choosing classes from a catalogue and going to the lectures to see if you really want to take them. I, unfortunately didn’t have much of an opportunity to shop. We’re supposed to take four classes a semester. There are certain required classes that I have to take Freshman year. I have to take Exposition Writing 20 and a year of language study. So that’s two classes already. Since I already know that I want to concentrate (that’s Harvard speak for major) in Biological Anthropology I also know that I have to take a basic science class called Life Sciences. I thought that left me with one class free for options but then my academic advisor told me that it would be expected of me to begin math this semester as well. So now I’m also enrolled in Math 1a, calculus. So there wasn’t a lot of shopping involved for me. I wanted to take Arabic to fulfill my language requirement but I can’t. The class times conflict with my life science class, so there’s no way I can take it this year. But I still have to study a language this year. So I decided to take beginners Japanese, it fit into my schedule and I already know some phrases from when I went there a couple of years ago. I’m a little bummed that Arabic didn’t work out, but maybe I can take a class another year. Last weekend I went to Boston to visit Michele and Rob, a couple of friends that I made last year at the Brown University Summer program. It was so refreshing to see them. They took me around the city a little bit and we had a great time catching up. They’re awesome, and they promised to come visit me at Harvard next weekend. Yesterday I took a bus up to Wellesley (I think that’s how it’s spelt) to visit Natalie. For those of you who don’t know, Natalie was one of my closest friends in Florida. There’s a bus that goes between our schools, and it’s pretty cheap so I went over there to surprise her. We had a great time and she introduced me to her roommate and friends. That was a lot of fun. Those are the major occurrences of this week, although there were a couple of other, smaller happenings. There was a state fair type thing that they threw in the yard a couple of days ago, complete with country music, pork hot dogs and a mechanical bull. I didn’t stay for long. The common room in the basement of our dorm was finally unlocked and we now have access to a pool table in our building. I think my skill will noticeably improve by the end of the year. My roommates and I are getting along better than ever and I’m still on the lookout for some good friends here on campus. Jess is pretty busy so we don’t get to hang out as much as I would like. I guess that’s about it. This week coming up is going to be my first real week of school. Classes are officially starting and grades will begin to form. I intend to work hard and prove my stuff. I hope to hear from you all later. Bye for now.

Leave a comment and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you should post this on your journal.

Watch Out Now

2005-09-23T07:01:02Z

It was kind of a weird night, and now I'm up really late on a Thursday night. But it's ok because I don't have class until 2:00 tomorrow. Anyway, I needed to stay up a little bit before going to bed. I had been thinking about this poem all day, bouncing the idea around in my head. And since I tend to write my stuff at night it had to be done at 2:30 in the morning. I kinda like it. The whole thing's a metaphor though, the title's a big hint as to what it refers to. Ten points and my eternal affection to the first one who can comment and correctly guess who or what the poem is about.

Lub

Her curves bleed feminine
shapely and swaying,
but beware
her fickle face
belies hidden mist.
With facets forever flowing
she's stranger than the sea.
Sometimes she's stone,
rough and numb,
no flaws or failures.
Others have crumbled,
but not her.
Sometime's she's ice,
harsh and bitter.
She is cruel
as only a woman can be,
slicing through sentiments
as if they were locks of hair.
Yet the cold
causes old scars to twinge
and stitches to come undone.
But on good days,
days when the sky is painted
she manages to become gold.
A warm woman
with wealth and light.
She kisses quietly
and comforts
as only a woman can.
Sighing and tireless
her efforts are mine alone.
She never stops.

Thanks for reading.

College Man

2005-09-13T21:42:47Z

Ok, the votes are in. Everyone who bothered to comment voted yes. So, I have decided to give in to the majority and post my weekly updates here on Livejournal. Keep in mind that these things are primarily for my family, so it might seem a little off. Anyway, I haven't got much time left to sit around. Here it is:

So I’ve been here for four days now and a lot has happened. On Saturday I arrived on campus and I hauled my stuff into my room. My dad showed up with some more of my stuff and we hung out for the rest of the day. I met my roommates who are all really cool. The dorm we’re sharing is pretty sweet. There’s two bedrooms, a common room and our own bathroom. I’m sharing a bedroom with Colin, he’s tall, blonde and kind of goofy which is great, we get along very well. John and Michael share the other room, they’re both really cool. Although we’re all pretty different we’ve been getting along very well, the common room already looks awesome. We have a mini-fridge, a microwave, an awesome basket-type chair (very soft), a crimson rug, and a futon that folds out into a bed. There’s still a lot of space, we’re planning on buying a table and a few more chairs. My dorm house is called Wigglesworth. There are a bunch of ‘houses’ around the campus, each with its own personality and advantages (some get cooler rooms or common rooms). Saturday night I met with Marty, he’s my proctor (which means he’s here to help us settle in and make sure we don’t party too hard) and he’s also my academic advisor. Sunday I had to wake up early to get my picture taken for my Harvard ID which I have yet to receive. Then I went to this opening ceremony thing, where a couple of deans and the President of Harvard spoke to welcome the incoming class. It was kind of cool, but a little long. The best part was when the choirs came up to sing, there was a girls group, a guys group and this African chorus. It was all good stuff, I’d forgotten how much I love classical singing. Tomorrow I’m going to audition for the Collegium mixed classical choir. That evening there was another meeting with Marty where he started explaining his role and the things we had to be aware of. Afterwards there was this social outside our dorm. All of Wigglesworth was there, eating free pizza, it was really crowded and a little too bland for me. Everyone went around chatting to people for five minutes, asking the most superficial questions. I got bored really quick. Yesterday I woke up early for an English placement exam. Then there was a break when I got lunch, followed by a Mathematics placement exam. I should find out how well I did soon, but it’s not that big of a deal, it doesn’t go on any permanent records or anything, it’s just to help pick which classes are best for me. After the tests me and my roommates all came back to work on our dorm. We cleaned up all our mess and put the new chair together. Then we made some decisions about where we wanted to put stuff. The effect is really great and we’re not even done yet. People have been impressed with it and it’s already become a place for other people to hang out with us. Later on I managed to meet up with Suzy for a little bit. It was great! I haven't seen her in years, she looks great. That evening I had another meeting with Marty, this time he spoke about our classes and his role as an academic advisor. Then we went down to this theater where the dean who represents us (a good sized chunk of the freshmen) spoke and welcomed us. She brought up all the proctors and basically explained how she was the next link up in the chain of the command. Then she introduced the Harvard University Police Department, two officers told us to lock our doors and treat our laptops like cash. Then they showed us a security video, basically telling us how professional and cool the HUPD is. Today I got to sleep in a little bit, then I went around to get a bunch of paperwork done. At two o’clock I went to take a French placement test. I’m hoping to test out of my language requirement, that way there’s no pressure to take the Arabic classes I plan on attending. We’ll see if I did well enough, it was pretty hard.
In between all of this stuff there’s been a lot of eating and a lot of meeting people. The Annenburg Hall where the freshmen eat is beautiful. There’s these big stain glass windows and this Gothic architecture. The food’s decent and I’ve been eating well. But it seems like everywhere I turn there’s someone new who’s sitting next to me or standing in front of me. I’ve met entirely too many people, I doubt I’ll remember most of their names or where I saw them. Some of them seem like people I won’t want to hang out with but most of them seem cool enough. Jess is a girl on the floor above me, she’s from Marin (the bay area). We’ve become good friends, and we’ve agreed to look out for each other. Last night was the best night I’ve had here so far, I met a couple of new people in our common room and they were really great. Classes start on Monday, and it’ll be a week of shopping around, sitting through lectures and deciding what I want to study this semester. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
The only other new thing is my laptop, it’s so shiny and awesome. I love it! I’ve finished installing all of the necessary stuff and now I’m customizing it. It’s gonna be all Kareem by the time I’m done with it. That’s all for now.

Thanks for reading.

Ever Realize How Many Things Rhyme With 'Rain'?

2005-09-08T00:11:43Z

So, it's really late here and I just finished watching Donnie Darko. That definitely added to the whole surreal experience I was already having here during my final days before departure. That movie has a way of making my thoughts go really fast. There's one scene with Drew Barrymore and the science teacher, and all he says is, "Donnie Darko", and she responds, "I know!" and that's it! That's a whole scene. I doubt I'll ever understand the reason behind that scene (if there is one). Anyway, this is my last real night here, I leave tomorrow around the time I've been going to sleep so I refuse to consider it a full night. I can't wait. Another thing I wanted to run by my readers. My Mother and other various family members have indicated a large interest in knowing about my comings and goings during college. I thought, to save myself the time of writing a bunch of e-mails to them, that I could sort of do a weekly newsletter thing about all the stuff I've been doing in college and just send it to all of them at once. But then I started thinking about you guys, I know that my lj has never really been about the stuff going on in my life but more my thoughts on different things that affect me. But pretty much everyone who's reading this won't be in Boston with me, and I was curious as to whether or not you guys would want me to post my little newsletter thing here too. If you think it would be pointless and a waste of your friends page then comment and tell me so, if you would like to know the normal stuff going on in my life then comment and give me the thumbs up. I'll count the votes and we can see what the majority rules. I've sort of been against posting about the events of my day and so forth, but if I'm writing the thing once a week anyway I might as well check to see if you guys are interested. The customer (or reader in this scenario) is always right and I'll make the decision based on the vote. So make your voice count! Be heard! I'll leave you with these words from the song "Mad World" by Gary Jules.

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me

I wanna go back

2005-09-05T23:59:28Z

Ok, I know the United States isn't perfect. I've shared a lot of my complaints with my friends, but they're mostly government and political stuff. But I still love the land and the people from the places I've lived. For a person like me, with no race, foreign language or exotic place of birth it's the closest thing I have to a home. At least I know I'm just as much a citizen as the next guy, unless he's a Native American. And it's a place I know, I can walk around and blend in (to a degree). I know how to get around and I know how to talk to people. I've been away for too long. This place is just so foreign. I've been stuck in this desert for about three months now and I wanna go back to a place where people understand sarcasm! I need someone to laugh at my jokes, and to compliment me on my witty t-shirts. Plus, there's no weather here. It's the same everyday. Every morning I wake up and it's sunny, the temperature is climbing and the light is everywhere. It hasn't rained or been overcast one day. It's crazy! I can't wait to have some change. I want rain every now and then, I want some trees and some green and the people around me speaking english or Spanish. I want to see the leaves change color and eventually I wanna wake up to some snow. Plus, I'm really looking forward to seeing the river dyed green on St. Patrick's Day. I know that I'm not going back to SF but straight to Boston, and although that sucks at least I'll be on American soil and I have some friends waiting for me. My time here is almost up, but time seems to always drag by when you want it to go faster. I've got so much good stuff to look forward to, and it's making these last moments a little unbearable. Plus, after finishing my story I don't have a lot to do. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of guy who doesn't know how good he has it until he leaves it. I've always enjoyed my time in the States, especially when it was spent with my dear friends. And while I've been here I've been pretty good about keeping on a good face and enjoying all the good stuff there is here. But enough is enough and I'm tired of people staring at my choice of clothing. Just because I don't wear a white robe everywhere doesn't make me a weirdo. They're a little too breezy for me. Well, that's enough of a rant for now, I'm sure not many people will understand my plight, but oh well. For those of you who don't know I've been in the United Arab Emirates since Mid June. Don't get me wrong, it's a great country, beautiful and definitely worth a gander, but I miss my friends and other stuff as well. Well, that's all for now, thanks for reading.